Book Review: "Being Dead Is No Excuse: The official Southern Ladies guide to hosting the perfect funeral", by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hayes

I’ll start by stating the obvious: This book is about a very different world from mine.  

But a world that is, in its own way, still familiar.

"Being Dead Is No Excuse: The official Southern Ladies guide to hosting the perfect funeral"

The title alone evokes a lot of things, centered around a tradition so insular and severe it borders on self-parody, and after reading... I'm not sure which side of the line it's on.

Now as someone who has been a chef, caterer, and many other things, event planning is not new to me. I’ve done weddings, birthdays, baby showers, book releases, orgies, and plenty of other interesting happenings- but funerals are one I haven't been tapped for. Now I’m not inexperienced with them by any means- I've been to… well, a lot. 

But there's a world of difference between going to one and handling one. You can in theory attend, grieve, and be gone, and think no more of it. However, not everyone does, or even can. To those who live in the Delta (shorthand for a sizeable chunk of the American Deep South), funerals are an experience like no other, one that's not unlike like surfing a wave, or carving down a slope of fresh powder. There's what's historically or traditionally expected, the variables and variations on the theme, and hidden under a thin veneer of Maybe lies the vast potential for comedic catastrophe.

Spoiling the book would be difficult, because so much of it has eased into the cultural subconscious. But if I attempt to add much in the way of detail, the mood will be off and the impact will suffer, so I'll keep it short.

One key component of funerals like this is something the book's authors are very dedicated to: community. It may not be pretty, and it may not even be nice. But it's theirs, and so it's worth fighting for. Not everyone can, will, or even should find their own community in which to thrive. But once you've got one? People do tend to dig in- and this book makes much and more of that tendency to great effect.

Another key made clear this book is Food. Funereal tradition is absolutely awash in food, so there are a lot of recipes in this book- enough that there's an index in the back. While many of these use the term 'recipe' as loosely as has ever been allowed, and quite deliberately so, Being Dead Is No Excuse goes into painstaking detail about the minutiae of the food and drink of the Southern funeral tradition. In no small part this is a cookbook full of funereal foods that could easily lead to a follow-up death- and they won't deny it for a second. Bring on the mayo and the cream of mushroom soup.

What is perhaps the most interesting part of it all is the underlying Christian denominational turf war- but I'll leave it at that because the joy is truly in the telling.

If you want a good laugh in the manner of Noises Off or perhaps My Fair Lady, this will do you right. I had my eyes closed and my face in my hands at many a point. Sometimes from the stories, sometimes from the snacks, but always with a smile.

Recipe Dev: G&T Trifle/Parfaits

 

    Gin was not always my liquor of choice for mixed drinks, but I do love a nice burst of citrus flavor, so learning the ways of a gin and tonic with a hefty squeeze of lime was all but inevitable.

    However, I'm also apparently rather geared toward developing desserts, and have several cocktail-flavored dessert recipes in pocket that have been quite well received, of which this is... technically two, but combines to one.

    This dessert concept started in those confounded single-serving Costco tiramisu cups. A housemate had bought and eaten them, leaving me to ponder concoctions I might manage with the empty vessels. By happenstance, there was lime jello in my cupboard, so I started there.

    Now, the dish itself is easy as can be. It's almost all refrigeration time preparing the Jello component, so you can get that done any time a day or two ahead for ease. The rest takes about a half an hour to prepare and assemble.

Ingredients

1 3oz package Lime Jello        
Juice and zest of 2 limes, to be used in different components
1 cup gin**, divided use
1/4 cup Tonic Water
1 package Savoiardi or other sponge cookie
1 cup heavy/whipping cream
2 Tbsp powdered sugar

Equipment

2 medium bowls, one pie tin or shallow dish, whisk, microplane, knife, cutting board, measuring cup, desired serving vessels.    

Directions

In one bowl prepare the lime Jello. Deviate from the package directions by dissolving the Jello in 3/4 cup boiling water, then allow to cool for 3-5 minutes.
While the Jello is cooling, zest the limes- in the second bowl, combine the lime zest, cream, and powdered sugar, stir or whisk lightly to remove any lumps, then refrigerate.
Return to the cooling Jello mixture, add 1/2 cup gin, the tonic water, and the juice of both limes, stir, then refrigerate. This may take an hour or two to set properly.

At this time, chill the intended vessels as well if you have the space to do so.

(At this point there is some downtime. Go do something else- you can pick up once the Jello is fully solidified.)

Dice the cooled and hardened Jello into half-inch cubes.

Place the remaining gin in the shallow dish and prepare the sponge cookies. If they need to be broken or torn into smaller pieces to fit in your desired vessel(s), do this now. 

Remove the chilled cream mixture from the refrigerator and whip to soft peaks.

Make a layer of Jello dice on the bottom of your chilled serving vessel(s).
Dip pieces of sponge cookie in the gin and place them on top of the Jello.
Top the cookie with a hearty dollop of whipped cream, volume approximately equal to the Jello.

Serve immediately. 

**While my gin of choice for drinking tends to be Hendrick's, something I picked up from my beau, the one I recommend for this recipe is Tanqueray Rangpur due to its vigorously sweeter, more citrus forward profile, as well as its higher proof.
For those new to gin, the two previous links are from The Gin Guild, which offers a thorough grounding in the basics of the spirit.