Absurdity in Eater, yet again.

I swear, it's like every time I look at a food related publication I see another mess to get annoyed about. This is about an blurb of someone's trick for finding solid takeout sushi. That tells you plenty about what you're dealing with.

 I'll link the article, but here are the highlowlights.

"While in a different place, I can’t be certain that their go-to order isn’t priced to scam tourists or being sourced from a sketchy ghost kitchen."

First off, who orders takeout sushi? Next- if you're worried about being scammed? Too late. If you're worried about a ghost kitchen? Probably didn't plan your travel well. Unwilling to extend a measure of trust to something you're putting into your body? Well... assumption of risk is a legal mess for lots of reasons.

"But I’ve perfected my method of seeking out a great takeout sushi restaurant by looking at the one menu item I will never actually order: the California roll."

Ugh. This is followed by comparing the California Roll discrepancies to the Big Mac Index, which I also take somewhat significant issue with, but don't want to dive into without more time to get some notes in order.

Yes, if you find a California Roll on a sushi menu, I wouldn't recommend ordering it- but that's because it's not real. The original California Roll used crab and fatty tuna. The reasons its current incarnation exists are that Uramaki (the inside-out roll) was developed to hide the presence of nori that was throwing off Western palates/dining sensibilities, and so that it could help ensure more consistent availability of ingredients, since surimi and avocado have less of a 'season'. In times past, that worked quite well, but massive lateral worldwide demand for avocado in the subsequent decades has caused prices to jump, transport to be less consistent, and quality to suffer. That's why the Cali Roll is looked at as naught worth noting, and also part of why it still exists in prominence- it's too culturally familiar to fade away uncontested, and lingers like a bad smell on a hot day.

"But to the owners of the everyday, common takeout spots: What is going through your minds when charging 10 whole, crisp American dollars for a single California roll? The star ingredient of this roll is imitation crab meat, for crying out loud. It’s not exactly a shining beacon of quality and taste"

The surimi industry is surprisingly dedicated to disproving that. If somebody hasn't had the good stuff, that's a them problem, not an us problem. If they want to get better informed, they'll get better informed- so they probably won't. Yes, a nontrivial amount of the stuff isn't super great, but if a sushi joint is worth its vinegar, you'll never notice. This sort of inflammatory blather is why there's cheap stuff in the first place! If the uninformed would just stop talking, the need to placate them would disappear, and so would most all of the lower quality product!

What's happening here is the mistaken assumption that something like this should be affordable, but not "~~cheap~~". The correct response is simple and universal: Irrespective of quality, prepared food is a luxury item- behave (and be willing to spend) accordingly.